Rejection Abounds
Sometimes, in my exuberance over my successes that I share with you, it may appear that it is ALL success. I can assure you that is not the case. So today, I share my latest rejection. But first, a metaphor.
My favorite motto in rockclimbing....if you're not falling, then you aren't pushing yourself hard enough. Of course we had ropes to catch us when we fell, so it was safe. But falling is such a deep psychological fear, that even on a rope, you really don't want to fall and it's scary, illogically scary. And if you never try anything harder, never take the risk, you really don't get any stronger or better as a climber. And that's okay too. But for me, I had goals, I always strive to push myself, that's just how I am. To overcome the fear, I would routinely get on climbs that I knew I couldn't do. I would fall a LOT. It helped me learn on a physical level to trust my climbing partner. It helped me learn to push myself. And I got better, good balance, strong body, smart choices.
This has paid off well as it translates to my new art quilt world. I take a lot of risks. I know I can't draw, but I push myself to draw and I learn. I have pictures in my head that need expressing. I enter lots and lots of venues. I risk rejection from the juries who decide which pieces will get in and which ones won't. I risk rejection from the judges who pick winners. I risk rejection from my audience who may not like what I have to say, or the way that I say it in my work. Why?? Because if you don't ask, the answer is already no. Asking, or entering, gets an opportunity for yes.
It would appear that my audience simply does not want to see a piece about a brand new bright and pretty neighborhood built on a trash heap of obsolescent appliances. REALLY? Who would of thought?? :) It is either the theme or the execution of my techniques. And it was my first attempt at a large batik etching, so possibly (no, definitely), I need more experience with the technique! The piece is intentionally uncomfortable for the viewer. I think some art is just like that. Maybe I could have chosen different colors? Maybe not. I thought it would be perfect for the Beyond Comfort exhibit by SAQA, but they didn't think so. I got the rejection yesterday. It was the 5th rejection for this art quilt!
And the theme of overconsumption is not one that most people really want to look at. Or what happens to all the junk we buy and then get rid of because it is built so poorly that it breaks quickly....all to drive the economy, make a fast buck. And, I have no problem with stimulating the economy, but I think we need to do it smarter, and look at the long range consequences of our actions. I am not sure if all that came through in this little piece. A big message for such a little piece. All I know is that I had to make it. In this I experienced a huge amount of success, regardless of it's failures with a larger audience. I can't even call the most recent rejection a setback, because I plod onwards for the next piece that needs to be made.
Do I like rejection? No. Does it hurt my feelings? Yes. What to do? Feel my feelings, then get over it, and "Climb on"!
I haven't had much time to work lately, but this last week I played with the batik. I made this flower from a whole cloth. I actually made two, to try out different ideas, but you will have to wait until I quilt the second one before I post it. Meanwhile, I cut this one in half to use for both sides of the tote bag, for a friend in need. It was a special request, one that I was happy to make, especially if it makes her life easier!
I love the way the whole cloth design of the flower goes with my fabrics. It was a bit surprising, and lovely!
Quilts=Art=Quilts
It started from a photograph, that I enlarged and simplified into a sketch. Then I taped it to a sliding glass door, and put my yellow fabric on top of the drawing, and sketched with a pencil the outline of the figure. The dark lines are shadows from a tree. That gave me some idea of how much surface area to cover with wax.
Then downstairs in the batik studio (some people call it a garage), I put the yellow fabric on a discarded glass door, and began covering it with hot wax applied with a wide paint brush. The real trick is getting the wax to cover the fabric completely, but also in a very uniform layer (okay that part is IMPOSSIBLE), but it is the goal. If your brush strokes overlap, the wax is thicker there, and creates problems later.
Then I placed the wax covered cloth on top of the drawing (which is made darker with a black sharpie marker), and painstakingly carve in ALL the lines. It is not too hard to do the straight lines, but carving the curves in wax is difficult. I have tried many different tools for the carving. It needs to be a sharp tool, but you have to be careful not to cut the fabric. Examples include: a screwdriver, a seam ripper, toothpick, bamboo skewer, clay carving tools, and dental tools. It will make your hand cramp, so it is essential to do small portions at a time and take lots of breaks.
Then, when I finished the carving, I mixed up some soda ash in some black dye and water, and brushed it on, letting it soak into the cracks that I carved. After batching 8 to 24 hours, you can rinse in cold water to get rid of excess dye, and then boil out the wax. Then I usually wash in hot water with a cycle of Synthrapol, and another with Retayne.
Next is the blue background which was made with batik also. I painted stripes of wax, then bleach discharged the fabric, and the overdyed the samples in different colors of blue.
I made the central figure a reverse applique, which means I cut the background to fit around the figure. Next they are fused, cut to shape, and then ironed on. Last step is the quilting. I quilted everything except for the letters in the figure, and along all the lines in the background. This last part seemed a bit excessive, but there you are, the process of an art quilter, driven by the relentless muse.
Here's a photo of the quilting. You can see the problem I referred to earlier where the white arrow is pointing. This is showing a place where the black etched line went through a thicker section of wax. When you carve the thicker wax, it cracks around your etched line. The dye seeps in and makes a wider, less defined line.
For more on batik etching, you can see my first attempt here, and another quilt, here.
